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through the chatroom to the latest messages, which were refreshing
It was a humid night. messages, which are refreshing instantly as her friends speak over
It was a humid night.
instantly as her friends spoke over each other. As the notification sound
Surrounded by piles of paper and spread-eagled textbooks, her each other. As the notification sound rings in her ears like a mantra,
Surrounded by piles of paper and spread-eagled textbooks, her desk she waits quietly, for what she can’t quite fathom. They could see she
rang in her ears like a mantra, she waited quietly, for what she couldn’t
desk was a mess, as was her mind. There she was, alone and
quite fathom. They could see she was online, and yet there was no
was a mess, as was her mind. There she was; alone and submitted was online, her avatar clearly said so, and yet there was no greeting,
submitted to an endless abyss of work, while everyone else was in
to an endless abyss of work, while everyone else was in the living no bringing her in, nothing.
greeting.
the living room, chortling at another of her brother’s dumb jokes.
room, chortling at another of her brother’s dumb jokes. She could
She could hear his voice coming from the smart television, the
As if she wasn’t worth mentioning.
hear his voice coming from the smart television, the static making As if she wasn’t worth mentioning.
static making him sound faraway, yet he was so much closer with
him sound faraway, yet he was so much closer with everyone than Ignoring the ongoing conversation, she scrolled to their past
everyone than she could ever be.
Ignoring the ongoing conversation, she scrolled through their past
she could ever be. messages, perhaps hoping to find some resemblance of the
messages, perhaps hoping to find some resemblance of the acceptance
Her grip on the pen tightened, like she was holding onto a plank acceptance and support they once showed her. There must have been
Her grip on the pen tightened, like she was holding onto a plank something that tied her to them.
and support they once showed her. There must have been something
amidst a sea of thoughts, silently waiting for her to drown. No
amidst a sea of thoughts, silently waiting for her to drown. No that tied her to them.
longer could she recognize her writing, for it was all forceful,
longer could she recognise her writing, for it was all forceful, furious “Are you sure you want to wear that? You’d look so much better in
furious scribbles on the verge of tearing through paper, like the
scribbles on the verge of tearing through paper, like the venom that this.”
“Are you sure you want to wear that? You’d look so much better in this.”
venom that tore through her mind, unstoppable now it has begun.
tore through her mind, unstoppable now that it has begun.
“You like that kind of stuff? It’s whatever, I guess.”
What does he have that she doesn’t? What did he do that she “You like that kind of stuff? It’s whatever, I guess.”
What does he have that she doesn’t? What did he do that she didn’t?
didn’t? Why was it always him, but not her? The family favourite,
Why was it always him, but not her? The family favourite, the cool “You got to keep up with the times! Otherwise, you’d be left out.”
“You need to keep up with the times! Otherwise, you’d be left out.”
the cool kid in class, the best at everything. The better sibling.
kid in class, the best at everything. The better sibling.
“We’re just looking out for you.”
It’s not fair. “We’re just looking out for you.”
It’s not fair.
People say you can hear your friends’ voices by just reading their messages
It’s not fair! People say you can hear your friends’ voices by just reading their
when you have a close bond, but their voices felt like vice, twisted and
It’s not fair! messages when you have a close bond, but their voices felt like vice,
strangling, like she was caught in a web. It frightened her.
A knock on the door startled her out of her daze, and the pen twisted and strangling, like she was caught in a web. It frightened
A knock on the door startled her out of her daze, and the pen her.
slackened in her grip, trembling along with her hands. She
slackened in her grip, trembling along with her hands. She turned She looked away, shaking her head as if it could shake away the poisonous
turned to look, and saw her mother at the doorway. She groaned
feeling. Her breath was heavy, she caught a glimpse of her reflection in
to look, and saw her mother at the doorway. She groaned internally She looked away, shaking her head as if it could shake away the
internally and turned away; she didn’t have time for this. Her
and turned away; she didn’t have time for this. Her aching shoulders poisonous feeling. Her breath heavy, she caught a glimpse of her
the vanity. Her hair, her makeup, her clothes, all chosen and done by her
aching shoulders slumped back into their unhealthy posture,
slumped back into their unhealthy posture, face pulled back into reflection in the vanity. Her hair, her makeup, her clothes, all chosen
friends, now that she realises.
face pulled back into a wary frown as she picked up her pen once
a wary frown as she picked up her pen once again, but before she and done by her friends, now that she realises.
again, but before she could continue, something else entered her
could continue, something else entered her view. At least they couldn’t change her favourite part of herself. She never told
view.
anyone, but she always admired her own eyes. Their shape, their colour,
At least they couldn’t change her favourite part of herself. She never
the way their edges crinkled when she smiled. They were just like her
“Remember to drink enough water. Your brother asked me to remind told anyone, but she always admired her own eyes. Their shape, their
“Remember to drink enough water. Your brother wanted me to
father’s.
you to take care of yourself.” colour, the way their edges crinkled when she smiled. They were just
remind you to take care of yourself.”
like her father’s.
Perhaps it was the steam arising from the mug, or the chilly wind Her phone lit up, along with one short ring. It wasn’t her friends.
Perhaps it was the steam arising from the mug, or the chilly wind
breezing through the window. She wiped her eyes, and her vision Her phone lights up, along with one short ring. It wasn’t her friends.
breezing through the window. She wiped her eyes, and her vision
became clearer. “Do you want to go for a night-time ride? Just some father-daughter
became clearer.
bonding time.”
“Want to go for a night-time ride? Just some father-daughter
“Okay.” bonding time.”
“Okay.”
She pulled the shutters up, unable to help herself when a little smile
- - She pulls the shutters up, unable to help herself when a little smile
tugged at her face when she saw him waving at her, his car started and
Moonlight shines through the shutters of her window, tugs at her face when she sees him waving at her, his car started and
was ready to go.
Moonlight shines through the shutters of her window, illuminating her ready to go.
illuminating her phone screen in varying stripes. Her thumb
phone screen in varying stripes. Her thumb scrolls absentmindedly
scrolls absentmindedly through the chatroom to the latest
“Okay.”
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