Page 93 - KCN 2020

Joanna’s 15th birthday would forever be ingrained in her memory. The familiar smell of She emerged from the water, panting heavily. The
BLUE
chlorine, the heavy breathing, the panic, and the lingering cold touch of freezing fingers. girls that already finished were watching her with curiosity.
She looked at the face of her best friend, once red with excitement, now pale and discolored. A black hole opened inside of Joanna. The coach patted her
The cold navy blue light that illuminated her face exaggerated her curves and edges. Joanna on the back. “Why don’t you take a break?” Nodding slowly,
Summer Liew
she steadily got out of the pool. It wasn’t raining, but she felt
grabbed her limp hand and held it to her chest. How long would this nightmare last? a chill wash over her, making rows of goosebumps appear

Joanna’s 15th birthday would forever be ingrained
She woke up to the ringing of her alarm clock. The lazy smell of the autumn rain and the on her skin. She could feel everyone’s piercing stares on her
in her memory. The familiar smell of chlorine, the heavy
minty air given out by her air-conditioner lingered in her room. She stared at the ceiling apa- back, which made her quicken her pace towards the sidelines.
breathing, the panic, and the lingering cold touch of freez-
thetically, before curling up into a ball under the shelter of her blanket. “Hurry up, Joanna!
ing fingers. She looked at the face of her best friend, once
You’re going to be late for swimming practice!” Joanna breathed into her tear stained pillow Joanna sat with her head in her hands, hammering her
red with excitement, now pale and discolored. The cold
navy blue light that illuminated her face exaggerated her
and fidgeted with her chipped fingernails. The prickliness of the water that entered your lungs, mind with the same question. She felt a hand or two pat her on
the back pitifully, but she didn’t bother answering. What am I
curves and edges. Joanna grabbed her limp hand and
the anxiety before plunging into the water, the nauseating feeling you got when you entered a doing? Why can’t I even do what I’m good at? What’s wrong
held it to her chest. How long would this nightmare last?
stadium filled with intimidating swimmers— all of a sudden she was at the stadium, standing with me? What’s the point of doing this if I can’t even save-
before the pool, about to enter a realm of insane training.

She woke up to the ringing of her alarm clock. The
lazy smell of the autumn rain and the minty air given out by Suddenly, everything was dark. Cautiously she walked
As the girl in front of her dived into the water, Joanna glanced warily at her coach, who towards the pool, which looked like a beautiful blue lan-
her air-conditioner lingered in her room. She stared at the
ceiling apathetically, before curling up into a ball under the
returned her a gummy smile. She took a deep breath, calming her nerves. Her stomach tern in the darkness. Her footsteps were deafening in the
dead silence. She stared at her distorted reflection in the
shelter of her blanket. “Hurry up, Joanna! You’re going to be
churned uneasily, and she could feel the beating of her heart in her throat. The rush of adrena- water. Slowly, as if she was being called towards the water,
late for swimming practice!” Joanna breathed into her tear
line didn’t provide her with much confidence, either. Don’t be a hindrance, Joanna. Stop being she sunk her head in it, savouring the silence of the darkness.
stained pillow and fidgeted with her chipped fingernails.
nervous. It’s just a lap. It’s just 50 meters. It’s simple. Just do it. Don’t-
The prickliness of the water that entered your lungs, the She felt a tranquilizing serenity. The soothing sound of
She forgot to breathe and dived. Water rushed into her airways. Her pharynx felt like it was water bubbled passed her ears. For the first time in a long while,
anxiety before plunging into the water, the nauseating feeling
you got when you entered a stadium filled with intimidating
burning. Just keep going. The burning travelled to her eyes, and her vision blurred. In the her heart was at peace. Then she saw a ray of light in the dis-
tance. She walked towards it, and squinted into the brightness.
swimmers— all of a sudden she was at the stadium, standing
corner of her eye she saw the other girls ahead of her. Every molecule of her being was in pain.
before the pool, about to enter a realm of insane training.
Everything felt light. Then a ringing descended upon her ears, and- Joanna’s heart stopped. Her friends, her family
As the girl in front of her dived into the water, and her coach were huddled together in a pool of gold,
She emerged from the water, panting heavily. The girls that already finished were watch- surrounded by a blinding light. She tried to look at
Joanna glanced warily at her coach, who returned her
ing her with curiosity. A black hole opened inside of Joanna. The coach patted her on the back. their faces, but they were blurry. Amidst the hazy fig-
a gummy smile. She took a deep breath, calming her
nerves. Her stomach churned uneasily, and she could feel
“Why don’t you take a break?” Nodding slowly, she steadily got out of the pool. It wasn’t rain- ures, there was an eerily familiar face, sharp and stoic,
poking out of the misty crowd. Her best friend, unlike
the beating of her heart in her throat. The rush of adren-
ing, but she felt a chill wash over her, making rows of goosebumps appear on her skin. She all the other figures, was the shade of pale blue. Joanna
aline didn’t provide her with much confidence, either.
could feel everyone’s piercing stares on her back, which made her quicken her pace towards reached out longingly towards her. To her surprise, the
Don’t be a hindrance, Joanna. Stop being nervous. It’s
the sidelines. figure stepped forward, and gave her a light, gentle push.
just a lap. It’s just 50 meters. It’s simple. Just do it. Don’t-
Joanna sat with her head in her hands, hammering her mind with the same question. She felt All of a sudden, everything was dark again. Joanna
She forgot to breathe and dived. Water rushed into

her airways. Her pharynx felt like it was burning. Just keep
a hand or two pat her on the back pitifully, but she didn’t bother answering. What am I doing? realized that the darkness was caused by the people sur-
rounding her. Her friends, together with her coach, all had
going. The burning travelled to her eyes, and her vision
Why can’t I even do what I’m good at? What’s wrong with me? What’s the point of doing this if I terrified expressions on their faces. She realized there was a
blurred. In the corner of her eye she saw the other girls ahead
can’t even save- trail of water connecting her body to the tranquil, blue pool.
of her. Every molecule of her being was in pain. Everything
felt light. Then a ringing descended upon her ears, and-
She collapsed into her friend’s warm embrace. She
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89 let out a shaky breath, and sank into a deep, peaceful sleep.