Reported by:
Lee Ai Lin Sr3ScB

Are you worried about holding a conversation or simply start a conversation with anyone anywhere? Fret not, as the Kuen Cheng High School Counseling Department invited professionals from the Singapore Institute of Management (SIM) to enlighten us on the matter as part of the soft skills workshop for Senior Middle 3 students on October 15th. The speaker of the day was the author of “Branded For Success”, Mr Lionel Lim. The 11-years-experienced speaker will open your eyes to communicating more confidently.

 

Before the workshop began, Lionel handed out a worksheet for students to take notes on. Communication is a process of conveying information (thoughts and emotions) between people and groups to reach a mutual agreement. A sender transmits a message and the receiver sends back his reaction or response to the original sender in terms of feedback via a communication channel. Let’s zoom in on the roles of the sender, receiver and communication channel.

  1. Sender (Speaker)

The sender may have problems such as providing incomplete information or poor delivery of messages. He could not convey his thoughts accurately and would confuse the listener which gradually led to misunderstandings.

  1. Receiver (Listener)

The two way communication is not complete if the receiver is “defective”. The listener could have trouble processing the message heard, or become overly emotional. Selective listening is also a common practice of a poor listener.

  1. Channel

A communication channel pushes the flow of information in two directions. For example, verbal communication and social media platforms. Anonymous social media accounts give an impersonal impression. External disturbance such as a noisy environment also affects communication. 

While having a conversation, include the following elements.

  1. Know your audience. Grasp their interests and dislikes.

  2. Be specific. Do not give perfunctory information.

  3. Understand whether you are speaking from your perspective or others’.

Moving on, Lionel introduced the DISC personality test to find out our preferred communication style. D (Dominance) are determined and direct people who are perfect for quick decision making. However, their obstinate determination could be unpleasant during group discussions. I (Influence) people are sociable and persuasive but could occasionally appear impetuous or gullible. S (Steadiness) are ideal teammates as they are understanding and cooperative. C (Compliance) are analytical and attentive individuals who have difficulty expressing themselves at times. The attendees are then separated into groups of five to discuss how these 4 personality types will react in specific scenarios. 

There are 3 questioning methods, namely open-ended questioning, closed-ended questioning and exploratory questioning.

  1. Closed-ended questioning

“Do you…” “Have you ever…” These types of questioning made it hard to prolong the conversation as a simple “Yes” and “No” is enough to end the conversation.

  1. Open-ended questioning

Begin your question with “Why” ”How” or “What”. The respondents do not have limited options, thus they can answer based on their understanding and feelings. Open-ended questioning is best to get to know another person better.

  1. Exploratory questioning

Throw questions after every reply to further understand and dive deeper into the topic of discussion. 

Another important factor to having a good conversation is kinesics (body language). When meeting someone for the first time, it is best to maintain a social distance, approximately an arm’s length apart. Sit upright to show attentiveness and professionalism. A slouching person gives off a detached impression. 

Eye contact is a salient factor during a conversation. Staring at the listener since the beginning of the conversation is disrespectful. One who constantly avoids eye contact appears to be dishonest and not trustworthy. On the contrary, looking straight into the listener’s eyes radiates confidence and shows alertness. Rolling the eyes upwards appears that one is recalling information.

Lastly, Mr Lionel Lim shared the three types of social smiles. To close friends and families, we will naturally give “reward smiles” as we enjoy the moment together. An affiliative smile is used for politeness to reassure others that we do not have bad intentions. A dominant smile is also called a sneer, which indicates superiority. Do not use this social smile as it will make others feel disparaged.

This sums up the three-day workshop for Senior Middle 3 students. We sincerely wish that all the attendees can be more confident during conversations whether at work, social events or just anywhere from now onwards.